Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
