THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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