The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
