WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
