Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
