i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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