I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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