There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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