you would pick up someone in the library
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
