god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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