And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
