Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
