if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
