You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
