I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
