Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
