Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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