My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
