I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
