Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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