need another drink. this is the easiest way
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
they're like a gay fantastic four
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
