He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
