I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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