real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
No stitches, just platelets and will power
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
