hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
