I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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