I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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