The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need water and some morals
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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