it was like having sex with a tree stump
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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