Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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