Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
