..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
