You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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