her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
