they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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