my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
