I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
