Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
