He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
