but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
