whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
