you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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