that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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