normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize