just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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