If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
