I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
