New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
