Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
