i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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